


Unexpected Discoveries: Loch Ness

by Brumeier



Series: Monster Fest [4]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe, Community: kink_bingo, Established Relationship, Friendship, Loch Ness Monster, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-25
Updated: 2014-10-25
Packaged: 2018-02-22 12:24:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2507711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brumeier/pseuds/Brumeier
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John gets much more than he expected when he and Rodney team back up with their friends at Mysterious Unknown for a special episode in Scotland.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unexpected Discoveries: Loch Ness

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sequel to [Unexpected Discoveries](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2145420), the AU in which John got a job as a camera man for a reality show called Mysterious Unknown.

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/156598319@N08/36095563415/in/dateposted-public/)

* * *

“Well, if it isn’t the conquering heroes!” Kyle stood in the middle of the Drumnadrochit Hotel lobby, arms crossed and looking larger than life.

John couldn’t help the grin that broke out when he saw his former employer. Ever since Rodney’s historic discovery they’d been too busy to stay with Mysterious Unknown, instead dealing with everything from legal issues regarding the find to the hiring of archaeologists and historians who were clamoring to become part of the Atlantis expedition. John was honestly looking forward to a break from interviews and speaking engagements to hang with the old gang.

“I don’t know why we agreed to do this,” Rodney complained, pulling his suitcase along behind him. “Do you have any idea how busy we are right now?”

“It’s good to see you.” John shook Kyle’s hand and slapped him on the back. “How’s Teyla doing?”

In response Kyle whipped out his phone and showed John some pictures. “She’s great! She’s staying home a little longer with TJ. You need to come by and see him.”

Rodney looked over John’s shoulder. “He’s fat.”

“He’s chubby,” Kyle corrected with a scowl. “Babies are chubby.”

“He’s cute. We should be back home in another two weeks or so, we’ll definitely come by.” John tipped his head at the reservation desk. “Do we need to check in?”

“Nope. It’s already done.” Kyle handed him a key card. “You guys are in room 22. Everyone else is waiting in the dining room, come on up as soon as you get settled.”

“He looks heavier,” Rodney remarked as he watched Kyle walk away. “Fatherhood is making him soft.”

“You could be a little nicer.” John nudged him in the direction of the rooms. “I don’t know about you but I’m glad to have a break.”

Rodney reached out for his hand and threaded their fingers together, the closest he’d get to apologizing. Not that it was his fault. John hadn’t really expected them to find the sunken city of legend, but he’d known what it meant when they did. It was big news, and not just in the scientific community; Atlantis had captured the imagination of the world for centuries and having the story verified had everyone wondering what other mythological tales might be true.

“Looking for the Loch Ness monster doesn’t really sound like a vacation to me.”

“It’ll be fun,” John promised. “Besides, we’ve never done it in Scotland.”

“ _Done it?_ How old are you, ten?” Rodney shook his head but there was a flush on his cheeks that promised some fun for John later.

*o*o*o*

Dinner was a laid back affair in the hotel’s bistro, which had one whole wall of windows that overlooked the town of Drumnadrochit. Once Rodney had done his usual citrus interrogation with the waiter and they were able to order the food turned out to be good, hearty fare. The company certainly helped with the overall ambiance.

John was happy to see everyone, and to meet the new addition to the team. He’d been following along on the website whenever he could but it was different to actually be there in person. Not that he had much of a chance to meet the new guy, since it turned out Rodney knew the little Czech from back in his college days and they’d had their heads bent together in conversation since they sat down at the table.

“Having you big time celebrities on the show is gonna give us a huge ratings boost,” Laura said with a grin. “Even more than the bat.”

“So calling us in was purely financial?” John sighed dramatically. “And here I thought you missed me.”

“With every bullet so far,” Ronon said solemnly. John flipped him off. “Seriously, you looked like you needed a break.”

“Yeah. That CNN interview?” Evan leaned forward, elbows on the table. “You looked wrecked, and not in the good way.”

Rodney’s head popped up. “What? What are you talking about? He looks fine.”

Kyle shook his head. “No, he looked like a guy who hates being in front of the camera instead of behind it.”

John waved their concern off. He didn’t need the mother hen treatment, even though he knew they meant well. He especially didn’t need Rodney getting all defensive, although from the look on his face it was too late for that. Time to cut him off before he started lambasting their friends.

The Czech, Radek, surprised John by beating him to the punch. “Did you see toffee pudding on the menu?”

Rodney narrowed his eyes but allowed himself to be distracted. Radek followed up with some tech-speak that pulled Rodney back into whatever conversation they’d been having. He winked at John from behind his big, round glasses and John nodded back. 

Looked like the new guy was going to work out just fine.

*o*o*o*

John was looking forward to a good night’s sleep. They’d been doing a lot of traveling and he was exhausted. Besides, experience told him that Kyle would have them up early, conducting interviews and getting establishing shots of the loch.

Rodney was ominously silent. By the time John finished in the bathroom his boyfriend was already in bed, his back turned and shoulders hunched. John sighed and slid into bed himself. 

“What’s wrong?”

“You could’ve told me it was too much.” Rodney’s voice was tight. “I wouldn’t have made you do all the interviews with me.”

John draped himself across Rodney’s rigid body and rubbed Rodney’s stomach with one hand. That usually worked to relax him, though he seemed more resistant to it at the moment. “It’s fine, Rodney. I’m fine.”

“Everyone else could see how it was bothering you, why couldn’t I? I was right there, for fuck’s sake. I’m supposed to know you better than anyone.”

“You do.” John pressed a wet kiss to Rodney’s neck. “I’ll be happy when the press junket is over, sure, but I’m not going to let you do it alone.”

“I’m a terrible boyfriend.” Rodney let out a breath and all the tension bled out of him as he visibly deflated. He rolled over on his back and John crawled on top of him.

“No you aren’t. You’ve been understandably preoccupied.”

“That’s not an excuse.”

“Yeah. It is. Shut up.” John kissed him, keeping it soft and gentle to show Rodney that everything was fine. He didn’t want Rodney feeling badly about enjoying himself; he loved the press conferences and speaking engagements. It was notoriety for all the right reasons and John wasn’t about to fuck it up for him.

Rodney was never one to miss an opportunity, and he got on board the sex train immediately, wrapping his arms around John and deepening the kiss until it was hard and dirty and they were rutting against each other.

“Naked,” Rodney gasped. “Naked now.”

John yanked his flannel sleep pants off and then slid Rodney’s boxers down his legs. As always he took a moment to appreciate his partner’s body – broad shoulders, expansive chest, muscular thighs.

“Stop staring and get on with it,” Rodney complained, rocking his hips up.

“Bossy.” John grabbed the lube off the nightstand and applied it liberally to his hand. That done he lined their cocks up, smearing the lube around as he did so, and took them both in hand so they were pressed tightly together. Rodney immediately started moving, thrusting into John’s hand. It was the best feeling and it took every other thought out of John’s head. He matched his movements with Rodney’s, biting his bottom lip as sparks shot along his spine.

“So good, John. God. _So_ good.”

John didn’t last long. He tucked his head against Rodney’s neck as he came, hips stuttering. Rodney got another few thrusts in, his hands on John’s ass to keep him close, and then he was arching up and spilling over John’s hand.

He was boneless and on the edge of sleep, but John found the energy to suck a little red mark at the juncture of Rodney’s shoulder and neck. Rodney rubbed a hand over John’s hip.

“You can’t keep distracting me with sex,” he said without any heat.

“The day I can’t is the day I’m too old to get it up,” John replied affectionately.

Rodney pushed him off and then rolled out of bed to get a washcloth to clean up with. He always took extra care of John after they had sex, handling him almost reverently. Whatever he lacked in awareness of John’s feelings regarding the work he more than made up for when they were alone together.

“C’mere.” John pulled Rodney close once he got back in bed, tangling their legs together. “Best boyfriend ever.”

“Sweet talker.” Rodney yawned and pressed a kiss to John’s forehead. “Don’t let Kyle make you do anything crazy tomorrow, okay?”

“Mmm hmm.” John let himself drift off to sleep. It didn’t matter that they were in Scotland tonight, or that they’d been in New York City the night before; as long as he fell asleep next to Rodney he was home.

*o*o*o*

Carson Beckett was a local physician and Nessie enthusiast. One of Kyle’s many international contacts had suggested they hook up with him for the one hour Loch Ness special they were filming, and he was just as enthusiastic as advertised.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you lads!” He shook John’s hand, then Rodney’s, a huge grin on his face. “I’m a big fan. My mother and I never miss an episode.”

Evan elbowed John, smirking at that comment, but of course Rodney went right ahead and addressed it. “You still live with your mother?”

“She’s not in the best health, poor thing. But she can still make the most mouth-watering Scotch Pie in five counties.”

“Pie?” Rodney said with more interest. Before the conversation could devolve into an in-depth discussion of regional foods Kyle intervened and handed out everyone’s assignments.

Carson’s interview had been filmed the day before, and now the doctor would be showing Evan and Laura around Inverness to get some of the local color and see how the Nessie legend was incorporated into their tourism base. Rodney and Radek had gone with Ronon to scope out probable areas to set up base camp prior to the evening’s investigation, which left John to film Kyle’s introduction down by the shore.

“I’m here on the shores of Loch Ness in Scotland, home to one of the most famous water monsters in the world – the Loch Ness Monster. While there were written reports of a monster in the River Ness as early as the sixth century the monster, known as Nessie, achieved modern fame in 1933. George Spicer reported to the local paper that he and his wife encountered a creature crossing the road in front of their car, lurching towards the loch with a dead animal in its jaws.”

Kyle started walking and John paced him, keeping the camera as steady as possible despite the rocky terrain. 

“In 1934 a London gynecologist named Kenneth Wilson captured the now-infamous picture of Nessie. It’s been studied, disputed, and called a hoax, but plenty of researchers stand by it. Over the years there have been countless sightings, studies and expeditions but no definitive proof of Nessie’s existence. Now it’s up to the MU team to see what we can uncover about this Scottish water monster.”

When Kyle gave him the cut sign John turned off the camera. “That was good.”

“I wish the weather was better.” Kyle was referring to the blue skies. While it was nice for the tourists, John knew that a slate gray sky that looked a bit stormy would better fit Kyle’s visual aesthetic. “So. You’re pretty much hating the notoriety.”

John shrugged, not surprised by the change in subject. “It’s not so bad. Rodney’s earned it.”

“We’re not talking about Rodney.” Kyle plunked himself down on one of the large, flat rocks that covered the pebbly shoreline.

“What do you want me to say? That I’m sick to death of having to talk to strangers and pimp myself out for funding?”

“It’s pretty clear to me, and Teyla. We’ve watched a lot of footage of your ugly mug lately.” He propped his elbows on his knees and looked up at John. “Why don’t you tell him you want to stop?”

“It makes him happy.” John pulled up a rock of his own so that he wasn’t looming. “He had a really shitty thing happen to him and now he has something good. I’m not gonna take that away from him.”

Before John had met him, Rodney was a well-respected scientist who’d had his life’s work subsumed by the government and turned into a weapon. It had left him cynical and prone to the occasional panic attack. The fact that he now had something to bring him the accolades he deserved without lives being lost was a really big deal and John wouldn’t do anything to mar even a little bit of Rodney’s happiness, regardless of the toll it was taking on him personally.

“You don’t think you’re more important to him than good press and his picture on magazine covers?” Kyle shook his head. “You need to be honest with him, John.”

“We’re doing fine,” John insisted. He kept telling himself that Rodney’s happiness was the most important thing, and that the media circus would eventually die down and they could get back to a semi-normal life.

“You’re a stubborn ass.”

“Takes one to know one,” John shot back with a grin.

*o*o*o*

Scotland was not a warm country, even less so in the middle of the night out on the loch in a very small motorboat. Carson, who had been making goo-goo eyes at Laura all day, had agreed to take Kyle, John and Evan out with the ROVR and the night vision camera to see if they could catch Nessie unawares.

“This is very exciting,” Carson said. He cut the motor at Kyle’s signal, and the remote controlled underwater camera was lowered into the loch alongside a hydrophone that would capture any underwater sounds.

“Kyle to base. Zee, we’ve got the ROVR in the water. You copy?”

_Zee? Really? When did you start going by that stupid nickname?_

_Be quiet, Rodney_. Radek said over the radio. _Picture is a little murky_.

“We’ll clean up as much of it as we can in post,” Kyle responded.

John scanned the surface of the loch with the thermal imager, searching for heat signatures, while mostly ignoring the POV camera rig mounted on his back; he’d always hated that thing; it made him self-conscious.

Kyle turned to Evan and addressed the camera. “Now we’ll see if the ROVR can pick up any sign of the creature lurking beneath the still waters. It’s been posited that finding Nessie is so difficult because Loch Ness is a good seven hundred and fifty-five feet deep. With a twenty square mile surface area, that’s a whole lot of fresh water for a large creature to hide in.”

_Beneath the still waters? You’re getting poetic in your old age._

“If you wanted to chat you could’ve come out here too,” Kyle said.

_The last time I was on a boat I fell out and almost drowned. No thank you. I’m much happier here on dry land._

“And yet he can’t stay off the radio,” Kyle muttered.

They stayed out on the boat for a good hour or more, moving the camera around and monitoring the hydrophone while Carson prattled on about his mother and his own amateur Loch Ness investigations. Rodney went out of his way to sigh more than once over the radio, a clear indicator of how incredibly bored he was. The longer they were out, the more the temperature dropped. It wasn’t long before a fog rolled in, thick and impenetrable by camera or flashlight.

“We should head back,” Carson suggested. He sounded nervous. “It’s thick as my mother’s pea soup out here.”

Kyle nodded in defeat. “Yeah, we’re not going to get anything now. Kyle to base. We’re shutting this down.”

_This is base. Fog is thick, be careful._

“Roger that, Zee. Pulling in the ROVR now.”

John helped load the camera back into its case and pulled up the underwater microphone as well. He was looking forward to getting back on dry land; the misty fog made everything damp and the light jacket he had on wasn’t doing much to keep the chill out.

“This fog is creepy,” Evan said. 

“Afraid of the Crawling Eye?” John teased.

“That’s not funny. Seriously.”

“I’ll have you back in a flash, lads.” Except that when Carson went to pull start the motor it didn’t catch. After several tries it was still a no-go, and wasn’t that just typical of an MU expedition? If it wasn’t the cars breaking down it was the boats or the planes or the camels.

“Wonderful. Stranded in the middle of the loch. Kyle for base.”

_Go for base. You’ve…Rodney, leave that alone!_

John and Kyle shared a grin. “We’re stuck out here. The motor won’t start.”

 _Nice to know some things don’t change_ , Rodney replied dryly. _Is everyone okay?_

“We’re fine. Just cold and damp.”

_I’ll have Ronon track down another boat, and we’ll get some blankets together. And hot tea._

“Thanks, Rodney. That would be –” Kyle was cut short when the boat rocked violently, nearly dumping them all in the cold water of the loch. 

John clutched the side of the boat with one hand while reaching for the night vision goggles with the other. “What the fuck was that?”

“Bloody hell!” Carson renewed his efforts to start the motor.

“Do you see anything?” Kyle asked. 

“Night vision is no good with all the fog,” John said, yanking the goggles off his head. “Try the thermal imager!”

Kyle turned on the FLIR and started scanning with it. At the same time John became aware of a noise, a kind of high-pitched humming that he could almost feel buzzing along the surface of his skin.

“You guys hear that?”

_Base to John. What the hell is going on?_

“Hang on, Rodney. There’s something weird going on out here.”

“Whoa. I’m getting something really big,” Kyle said breathlessly. “Crazy big.”

The boat rocked again, and then something broke the surface right next to them. John scuttled to the opposite side, eyes wide, as a dark gray column of something that looked incredibly fleshy tore through the fog.

Carson cursed softly, motor forgotten. “Jesus, Mary and Joseph.”

_John? John! What’s going on?_

“I’m not seeing this,” Evan said. He was shaking his head but the camera in his hands was steady enough and pointed in the right direction.

“We are so dead.” Kyle sounded calm but John could feel him shaking. “Shit.”

The high pitched humming was much louder now, and echoed oddly in the fog. Clearly it was coming from the creature that now towered over the boat, still mostly hidden in the swirling mists. But John knew it was there, could hear its snuffling breaths.

_Ronon and I are coming out there, John!_

“No, don’t, just –” John didn’t want Rodney out there with this giant living, breathing creature, but he didn’t get a chance to say so. As quickly as it had appeared it slipped back down beneath the water, knocking against the boat as it did so. Only this time the boat rocked so far it flipped over, dumping them all into the water.

John sputtered to the surface, trying to catch his breath. Christ, it was cold! He did a quick head count, relieved when no-one was missing. And then he thought about the equipment – the very expensive equipment – and had to stop himself from diving back down to try and grab some of it before it sank all the way to the bottom. At least the ROVR case bobbed to the surface; hopefully the seals would hold and keep it floating until it could be pulled out of the water.

“Where is it?” Evan flailed around in a circle. “Do you see it?”

“It has to be under us.” Kyle swam to the overturned boat. “Everybody climb on, before we all get hypothermia. No-one’s dying a heroic _Titanic_ death on my watch.”

John’s teeth were already clacking together, but he helped Evan and Carson up on the boat before he was hauled up himself.

“Kyle to base.”

_What the fuck is going on? We’re on our way. I’m using the other thermal imager to pinpoint your location._

“We capsized. I hope you have those blankets.”

_Is everyone okay? You’re going to catch your deaths of cold._

“Hence the need for the blankets. Kyle out.”

_Don’t you ‘Kyle out’ me!_

“Rodney,” John said. Despite his best efforts he couldn’t keep the shivers out of his voice. “We’re fine. Okay?”

_I’ll be there soon. Rodney out._

“Someone’s not getting any tonight,” Evan teased. It would’ve been funnier if he wasn’t shaking like a leaf.

The four of them huddled together on the boat and waited for their rescue as the creature’s humming slowly faded away.

*o*o*o*

“Unbelievable. Only you would have an actual close encounter and nearly turn into a popscicle. Honestly, why do I even put up with this? We could’ve been nice and toasty on Malta right now instead of freezing to death in Scotland.”

Rodney chewed John out while simultaneously rubbing his head vigorously with a towel. Once he and Ronon had facilitated their rescue and returned them to dry land, Rodney had driven everyone back to the hotel. John had taken the world’s longest hot shower, his extremities all pins and needles as he thawed out, and wrapped himself in a thick flannel robe that had appeared from parts unknown. And all the while Rodney had harangued him, which John knew was just his way of dealing with how scared he’d been.

“Anyway, I’ve come to a decision. We’re putting a stop to all the media schmoozing.” Rodney waved off John’s unasked question. “It’s taking up too much time and I’m tired of fielding calls from Dr. Jackson. We need to get this expedition underway instead of just talking about it.”

“You don’t have to do that,” John said. He was feeling warm and sleepy, sitting on the bed and leaning back against Rodney. 

“Yes, I do.” Rodney draped the towel around John’s shoulders and embraced him from behind. “You hate it and I should’ve noticed. I’m a terrible boyfriend, but so are you for not saying anything.”

“You’re really not.”

“And you need a break. I was thinking we’ll go stateside for a week, maybe two. We can extend the guards on the site so no-one sneaks in there without us, and just take a real vacation.” Rodney propped his chin on John’s shoulder, his arms warm around John’s chest. “And that means no more guest appearances on Kyle’s freak show, okay? I’m thinking lots of sleeping in, and lots of sex. There definitely needs to be lots of sex.”

John covered Rodney’s clasped hands with his own. “And this is why you’re not a bad boyfriend.”

“Yeah, about that.” Rodney ducked his head so that his next words were mumbled into the back of John’s neck.

“What was that?”

“Jeez, do I have to say it?”

“Uh, you do if you want me to respond in any way.” John nudged Rodney’s head with his own. “Use your words, brainiac.”

“Shit. Okay. I was thinking…maybe I could try being a bad husband. You know. Instead of just a bad boyfriend.”

That woke John up pretty quickly. “What?” He shook Rodney loose so he could turn around and look at him. Rodney face was flushed deep red.

“Obviously I’d planned something a bit more romantic. It’s your fault you didn’t get it. If you hadn’t fallen in the loch –”

John shut him up by kissing him, both hands holding Rodney’s head in place. His skin was tingling again, but not from heat or cold this time. “Worst proposal ever,” he murmured against Rodney’s lips.

“Shall I try it again and stuff a ring into a pastry or something?”

“No. And yes.”

“Yes?” Rodney pulled back, expression filled with uncertainty. 

“Yes, I’d love to have you be my bad husband.”

For a long minute they just grinned stupidly at each other, and then Rodney was pulling John down on the bed and wrapping around him like an octopus. They kissed with a lot of tongue and enthusiasm, and then Rodney moved back just a little. His eyes were shining.

“Is two weeks enough time to get married and have a honeymoon?”

“I think we can work something out,” John promised. He pulled Rodney back in, loving the taste of tea and sweet biscuits that lingered in his mouth. 

“Good. And then I want you to brush up on your deep sea diving skills. I’m putting you in charge of visual documentation of the expedition.”

“Thanks.” John nibbled a path down Rodney’s neck. “Let’s can the shop talk, okay? I’m ready for some engagement sex.”

“Oh. Well, I wouldn’t want you to be disappointed.” Rodney rolled them so that he was straddling John. 

John was most assuredly not disappointed.

**Author's Note:**

>  **AN:** Written for Sea Creatures week of Monster Fest at the [You Should Be Writing](http://ushobwri.livejournal.com/) community on LJ.
> 
> For this week I had to write the Loch Ness monster, because for a while my son was completely obsessed with this creature. He watched Scooby Doo and the Loch Ness Monster like a thousand times, drew informational pictures, and argued with his Kindergarten teacher that of course Nessie is real.
> 
> And who better to tackle the Loch Ness monster than John and Rodney from the Unexpected Discoveries AU? This ended up having more relationship plot than I planned, and very little actual monster, but it totally counts. Right? Right!


End file.
